To hell with trying to be skinny!! I've had enough.
My body wants to be this way regardless of how little I eat or how much I exercise! I love food too much and this is just becoming a damper on my days. I'm 21 years old and I think I've stressed about weight since I first realized in 2nd grade that my best friend was so much skinnier than me. But last night, while stressing about it all over again, I realized how stupid I've been. I'm probably one of the healthiest people I know. I exercise regularly, do yoga, am emotionally very balanced, I eat the healthiest out of all the people I know considering my veganism and near raw-ism!
And on top of that I go to the best design school in the world, my creativity is running wild and everyday I am finding inspiration and beauty in all thats around me.
Why the fuck do I let the small pudge of fat around my belly bother me so much?
I've realized that there are many shades of eating disorders. More than 50 I'm sure. hurr hurr. I may not be anorexic or bulimic (can't throw up to save my life, dno why), or have fits of binging, but I would say that I probably touch my stomach more than 50 times a day out of fat stress and constantly worry about it. It's on my mind more than 30% of the day. And I've let it get way out of hand. It has to stop. I would rather be who I am now with all this incredible-ness around me than a skinny wilt-y looking girl that is dead inside. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my gist..
So, my mantra from today on is, "My! Look how healthy and beautiful you are!"
I've also recommitted myself to being more raw and not being afraid to gain weight. Previously when I had transitioned into a raw vegan diet I had gained a bit of weight regardless of the fact that I was running nearly 5 miles a day. And it was because I was consuming a more than average amount of bananas. So I stopped. Which was my first mistake. Being raw isn't about losing weight, its about making a lifestyle change and it takes time for your body to adjust to those kind of changes. If I had just continued my body would've eventually leveled out and that extra weight gain would've probably disappeared.
So today I had a kale smoothie for breakfast, banana ice cream for lunch (which still blows my mind), and a zucchini pasta for dinner. And I feel awesome! On top of which I completed my illustration homework today and am so happy with the result! My first ink drawings :)
This was such a fun project and I'm so glad I took the risk and used india ink for the first time!
Ah. What a good day. :)
My body wants to be this way regardless of how little I eat or how much I exercise! I love food too much and this is just becoming a damper on my days. I'm 21 years old and I think I've stressed about weight since I first realized in 2nd grade that my best friend was so much skinnier than me. But last night, while stressing about it all over again, I realized how stupid I've been. I'm probably one of the healthiest people I know. I exercise regularly, do yoga, am emotionally very balanced, I eat the healthiest out of all the people I know considering my veganism and near raw-ism!
And on top of that I go to the best design school in the world, my creativity is running wild and everyday I am finding inspiration and beauty in all thats around me.
Why the fuck do I let the small pudge of fat around my belly bother me so much?
I've realized that there are many shades of eating disorders. More than 50 I'm sure. hurr hurr. I may not be anorexic or bulimic (can't throw up to save my life, dno why), or have fits of binging, but I would say that I probably touch my stomach more than 50 times a day out of fat stress and constantly worry about it. It's on my mind more than 30% of the day. And I've let it get way out of hand. It has to stop. I would rather be who I am now with all this incredible-ness around me than a skinny wilt-y looking girl that is dead inside. That may be a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my gist..
So, my mantra from today on is, "My! Look how healthy and beautiful you are!"
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| My lunch today!! Banana Ice Cream!! |
So today I had a kale smoothie for breakfast, banana ice cream for lunch (which still blows my mind), and a zucchini pasta for dinner. And I feel awesome! On top of which I completed my illustration homework today and am so happy with the result! My first ink drawings :)
 |
| Contemporizing the story of Moby Dick. Whale vs. Japanese Whalers. Whales win. |
This was such a fun project and I'm so glad I took the risk and used india ink for the first time!
Ah. What a good day. :)
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